Welcome to the official site of the Daanberg Stoats!
It’s a great year to be a Stoat, a Stoatlet, or even a Stoat Booster — why, because it’s the episode-inducing 75th Official Anniversary Season for the Stoats!
That’s right, 75 years ago this March, the very first official collegaiate team was formed on the grounds of the Daanberg Institute of Business Technology Advancement in Arts and Science Theory, Recitation, and Practice. That makes it the three-quarterennial this year! Woo-hoo!
Yep, it was a frosty March back in ought-aight when Clarence Foster Wiltonfieldman brought together the first eleven men that made up the staring lineup of the Daanberg Stoats field-huggers squad. Of course, sports were a little different back in those days, so it was at least thirteen years before field-hugging matured into the modern game of Rotball — and fourteen more years until it was officially recognized by the players!
We plan to celebrate in various ways here on the Daanberg Athletic Crew, and you can too if you can tear yourself from the online casino USA.
First of all, our beloved team mascot Chunky will be donning the traditional athletic lederhosen uniform, complete with spiked cap, just like the original team used to wear! And of course the traditional pleated dirndl will be worn by all cheerleaders, pledges, and various victims picked at random from any opposing team or random passers-by in the street.
But that’s by far not all just yet! Our very own National League MVP, class of ’08 alumni Scotty Ratsmussen, will be joining us as Honorary Reichsmarschall of the Homecoming Game unt Parade! That means a very special treat for you girls and younger women, as you will be able to sign up for a Founder’s Day competition where the first prize is a no-holds-barred Antique Sauerkraut Full-Contact Steel Cage Love Match with Ratty himself!
And so much more that I’m tired just thinking about online slots and all the other stuff what I haven’t even mentioned yet. Stop by the Campus Center on your way out to catch up on the latest Flyer Committee Brochure, where all of this is spelled out in bright colorful symbols that even a Daanberg student can understand.
